Friday, March 13, 2015

Some new thoughts about old furniture

I knew that motherhood was going to require sacrifice. But sacrifice was always sort of that intangible, distant, and vague idea that seemed so far away, and somewhat glorious too. Because when people talk about the sacrifices of motherhood, it is usually in a setting where they are praising their mother- or some mother, and the reward of that current praise and gratitude always out weighs the sacrifice that is usually in the past by that point.
Still following me?
But now I'm learning that sacrifice is real. Real tangible things. And gratitude from my offspring is light years into the future. I've sacrificed my figure and my sleep, and now, I'm sacrificing my furniture.
To many people that is not a sacrifice.
But I love furniture.
Yep, I do. (Remember, this is a confessions blog)
Since we have now had 5 children join our family, there has been a lot of shifting around. Not just cribs and beds and bedrooms, but everything in the house is being reevaluated. It's a long story, but the gist of it is: We're stuck in this house that's too small for us until my oldest 2 have graduated from high school (class of 2019, and 2020). And of course, when that happens, and they move out, and we only have 3 children at home, this house will fit us just fine again.
But in the meantime, we're figuring out how to "make it work."
"making it work" included an 8' x 8' addition for the baby's room last year. This year we'll need to replace our furnace/AC to accommodate the extra square footage so the baby's room can actually get below 85 degrees sometime this summer. (According to the guy who gave me the estimate, it was never big enough to begin with)
It meant that I went from having a craft/sewing room, to a craft/sewing corner to nothing. My fabric and craft supplies are mostly in boxes in the garage and my machine in packed away in a cupboard. (Maybe I should sell it? It isn't being used and probably isn't justifying the space it's taking up)
Yes, it depresses me.
It meant selling this desk that I love (although the pain of that was eased by the fact that it went to a friend who I really like, who appreciates the desk as much as I did!) And it means that every month I spend time reorganizing and trying to make things fit better and not feel so crowded.
And it means getting rid of whatever we don't need.
On a regular basis.
This week was spring break, and I cleaned out the girls closets and dressers. It was a relief to haul three garbage bags full of stuff and clothes away. We can breathe again in that room. And we realized that the little girls only need 1 dresser.
The other dresser in there needed to go. It partially blocked the closet and wasn't functional enough to justify the space it took up.
First we wrapped up the mirror in bubble wrap and slid it under the bed (on top the the cans of food storage that were already there). It hurt a little because I think the mirror is so pretty.

But it wouldn't fit in the hall at the top of the stairs with the mirror on top because it would block the light switch.
 And even when I moved it there, I realized that it partially blocked the entrance to the playroom. So I waited for what my husband would say: "Why don't you just wrap it up and put it in the garage?"
I was afraid he'd say that.
I've also spent hours in the garage reorganizing. I've finally given up on being able to park a car in there. And as I surveyed the garage- there isn't even anywhere in there to store it.
And it could take a beating in there, no matter how well I wrapped it. And she's too old for that. She's a fragile old antique.
She was given to me by my husband on our very first Christmas. It was love at first sight. She's traveled with us across three states, and lived with us in every apartment and home we've been in. She's old, and her bottom drawer is broken, so she really doesn't hold a lot as far as storage is concerned.
She's old, she's not useful, she takes up space we don't have. She needs to go.
And yet... I just can't bring myself to sacrifice her. Maybe I sort of resent my kids right now for all the other sacrifices they are forcing  me to make, and holding onto her feels like I'm protecting my last little bit of turf?
Please, help me know what to do.
Will I regret it in a few years if I get rid of her?
Do I need to just detach myself from her so we all have more breathing room?
I could really use some feedback right now.
My almost 2 year old was standing so still and posing while I took the pictures. He thought I was taking them of him. So then I did.
These stinkers are worth the sacrifice, right?

1 comment:

  1. There really is no good answer to your dilemma. I get the whole sacrifice thing. It pangs me the most to hear you aren't using your sewing machine, but DON'T sell it! You are too talented to give that up. It's just on hold.